Dennis Rainey Called My Bluff (logged December 14, 2004)
Today, FamilyLife Today kicks off a series of four interviews with me. It's a privilege to be a guest on that show, but when we taped these interviews back in August I had no idea it could also be a lot of fun. Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine are gracious hosts, as are the other members of the broadcast team. They each have a great sense of humor, too, so we laughed a lot during the taping. Originally we were only scheduled to do three programs, but during the break between one of the programs, I joked that I have a three-point sermon for single men titled "Find Is An Active Verb" that my singles pastor wisely won't let me give.
Calling my bluff, Dennis Rainey leaned across the table and with a gleam in his eye said, "Well, if you can't give it at your church, how about giving it on national radio?" And that's how we ended up with Thursday's program, "What Single Women Want Single Men to Know." Well, at least what one single woman wants single men to know! It was an unplanned topic (I really don't have a sermon!), but I trust that amid the laughter both single men and women will hear words of hope. (I recall that one of the first questions Dennis asked me was what I'd want a single man to know about me. I piped up with, "My phone number!" A comment which elicited more laughter. But I'm glad the FamilyLife team wisely edited that out.)
I followed Dr. Wayne Grudem in the studio and his program aired yesterday, the day before my interviews started. Dr. Grudem is a dearly loved friend of Sovereign Grace Ministries, where I am employed, and the Lord has used his writing and teaching to greatly affect my life. A few years ago, we were seated at the same table at a publisher's banquet and I was telling him about how his book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, was recommended to me as a brand-new believer. (It's a HUGE book aimed at pastors and church leaders, so some might have wondered at this recommendation to a new believer whose feminist background was making her balk at Ephesians 5:22 and the concept of submission.) Anyway, I was still wrestling with my new beliefs, and unfortunately I didn't take to this book immediately. As in, I tossed it across the room in anger at one point. I was in the middle of telling this to Dr. Grudem when our waiter interrupted us and I was never able to finish my point. For all I know, Dr. Grudem thinks I still hate this book--when in fact it is an incredibly valuable resource! Yesterday's program was about his latest work on this topic, Evangelical Feminism and the Bible. I wonder if Dr. Grudem still remembers that woman who threw one of books across the room! ;)
If you are not familiar with Dr. Grudem or the points in his books about biblical manhood and womanhood, I want to recommend an outstanding audio resource, in addition to his interview with FamilyLife. Earlier this year he spoke at Joshua Harris' conference, New Attitude, where he gave the most compelling message I've ever heard on this topic. He not only gave everyone there lots of theological "meat" in this message, he also illustrated how he has lived out the charge to husbands in Eph. 5:28 that "husbands should love their wives as their own bodies." (You can order the CD or download the MP3 from the Sovereign Grace Store.)
Anyway, I'm very grateful for the privilege of being a guest on FamilyLife and pray the Lord continues to bless that ministry.
Keep a Quiet Heart (logged November 29, 2004)
As I drove to my family's Thanksgiving event last week, I was a little discouraged to be driving there alone for yet another year. I wanted to cultivate a grateful attitude, but I felt weak and listless and needed help. So I decided to listen to a message by Terry Virgo, a guest speaker at the Sovereign Grace Ministries' Celebration Mid-South conference. It was titled "How to Fight for Faith." The essence of the message was a reminder that the father of lies, our spiritual enemy, is still actively trying to discourage us. His primary battleground is our mind. If he can get us to quit, he's achieved his goal: fruitlessness. That's why the apostle Paul reminds us that we have to fight the good fight of faith. I Tim. 6:11-12 says "But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
The verse comes out of a passage about the love of money being the root of all evil and how the craving for money is what leads many away from the faith. Four different Greek words are translated into "fight" in English. The word used here is agon, which is properly a place of assembly as if led, by implication a contest held there. Other Greek words translated as fight into English mean a verbal quarrel, to engage in battle or make war, or to even strive with an opponent for a prize. But this one has a meaning of being led into a situation before a group of people so that your fight is observed--and you take hold, or seize, the eternal life to which you were called.
Don't you feel at times that the battle for faith as a Christian single woman is a public one? Everyone watches, everyone has their opinion. But we can't allow our spiritual enemy to tempt us to quit or to give up the fight. As Elisabeth Elliot writes in Keep a Quiet Heart:
"Response is what matters. Remember that our forefathers were all guided by the pillar of cloud, all passed through the sea, all ate and drank the same spiritual food and drink, but God was not pleased with most of them. Their response was all wrong. Bitter about the portions allotted they indulged in idolatry, gluttony, and sexual sin. ... The same almighty God apportioned their experience. All events serve His will. Some responded in faith. Most did not. 'No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it' (1 Cor. 10:13 NIV). Think of that promise and keep a quiet heart! Our enemy delights in disquieting us! Our Savior and Helper delights in quieting us."
"Feed on His Faithfulness" (logged November 17, 2004)
I find great benefit in reading different Bible translations at times. Though I use the English Standard Version for my personal study, recently I was studying Psalm 37 in the New King James Version. Nearly every single Christian woman is familiar with at least one verse of this psalm because it talks about receiving the desires of our hearts. But here is that verse in context:
3Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
In most Bibles, these two verses are coupled together to indicate the poetic tension of the psalmist's original writing. It's a complete thought. As I studied these two verses, I was struck by the commands for action. The actions are trust, do good, dwell, and feed. We are to trust in the Lord and do good because of that trust. We are to dwell where we are placed by God--not just dwell, but flourish and thrive! But here's a fresh idea for me because I hadn't seen this alternate translation of the next command in my ESV Bible--"feed on His faithfulness." I am to feed or nourish myself on God's faithfulness. That is followed by the command to "delight yourself also in the Lord." The "also" is important to me here. I find it difficult to delight myself "also" if I've not done the first four things: trust, do good, dwell, and feed. Those lead to delight.
And as we all know, when we delight in something, it's already a desire of our hearts.
For me, I feed on God's faithfulness by rehearsing all of the great things He has done for me. Sometimes, that means I have to consciously think about what I take for granted or view as a right. Recently, I've found myself thinking anxious and even critical thoughts as soon as I get up in the morning. It's a battle to not to feed on the negative, but to feed on all the evidences of God's faithfulness. When I take the battle seriously, trusting, doing good, and delighting seem to come a lot easier in the season in which I dwell.
"Everyone's Entitled to My Opinion" (logged November 1, 2004)
I once saw this slogan on a bumper sticker and laughed out loud! That's exactly how it feels to do media interviews. Today I had the privilege of being interviewed on Moody Broadcasting Network's "Midday Connection" radio show. During this show, several people called in from across the nation to ask questions or share their perspective on singleness. It's slightly disconcerting to hear someone summarize their life in a few seconds and then ask you for some insight. Most answers in the Kingdom boil down to a simple premise--trust God. Trust Your Creator/Savior/Redeemer/Lord. Simple, yes, but never easy to do. And we always need to be reminded of this truth. I wish I could hand these callers "Seven Steps to Ending Singleness" or "Three Keys to Getting Married," but I don't have them. (If I did, would I still be single?!) Still, I'm honored anyone would listen to the interview, much less take the time to call. I want my single sisters and brothers to know I empathize with them, but I also want to leave them encouraged in the Lord. Is it difficult at times to be single? Yes, indeed. Can other people be insensitive to our loneliness and dashed hopes? You bet. Is our hope to be found in other people becoming more considerate to us? Or even in the answered prayer of marriage? No way. That's too small a hope. So I continue to preach the gospel, first to myself and then to whomever wants my opinion.
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (logged October 4, 2004)
(Photo courtesy of Scott W. Smith Productions)
Here's photographic evidence of God's sense of humor. Above is a photo of the speaker interviews during the opening session of the second annual Desiring God National Conference (Sept. 24-26). From left is John Piper (Desiring God/Bethlehem Baptist Church), Michael Lawrence (Capitol Hill Baptist Church), C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney (Sovereign Grace Ministries), yours truly, and Mark Dever (Capitol Hill Baptist Church/Nine Marks Ministries). The theme this year was "Sex and the Supremacy of Christ."
I had been invited to speak to the single ladies that next day during the elective sessions. When I accepted this kind invitation, I figured I would be flying under the radar at the conference. Little did I know I was to participate in live speaker interviews before all 2,000 participants! Moments before we all walked onstage, Mark Dever, who was serving as the moderator, asked us all the to think of one or two ways we could comment on Dr. Piper's opening message. You want me to comment on one of Dr. Piper's sermons?! Then they told us to remove our nametags for the DVD. DVD?!? If only the men knew that I had spent the previous evening sitting down before my mirror in various skirts, trying to figure out which might not end up embarrassing me at this angle. And as you can see, I ended up defaulting to the safety of slacks. It took all my energy to manage my wardrobe, and now they wanted a cogent comment on a sermon??
That's the truth of it all. However, God was gracious to meet us all and this was a lively discussion that I hope was worth the time for those who attended. I appreciated how C.J. made sure to honor Dr. Piper at the end of this session--and the attendees rose to an immediate standing ovation.
The next day's elective sessions were divided by marital status. C.J. and Carolyn addressed the married men and women, respectively, while the Capitol Hill Baptist pastors addressed the single men, and I spoke to the single women. I joked with them that I'd send them my notes later and that we should just leave and sneak into the single men's session. But as we'd been exhorted not to switch sessions, we had to submit and stay put. The ladies there were a joy to address. My only regret was that the schedule was so tight I wasn't able to talk to as many as I would have liked.
It was a privilege to be among this group of speakers. I expected to be intimidated, but everyone was so gracious--especially John & Noel Piper. At one point, I looked around the room where the speaker team was assembled to pray for the next session, and I realized how nearly everyone there had been instrumental in my growth. Their books and messages had been life-changing for me in many aspects. I was among brothers and sisters who had been used by the Lord to minister to me, and I was overflowing with gratitude for them.
The teaching was stellar at this conference. I would highly recommend that everyone order a set of the messages from Desiring God or simply download them as MP3 files. I had wondered ahead of time if listening to so many messages on this topic might be a stumbling block for me in the sense of stirring up discontentment, but each speaker was faithful to point us all to the glory of the One who created this gift and His purposes in doing so.
(By the way, if you obtained earlier versions of my my message, my voice is not actually that low. It was accidentally recorded at the wrong speed, but Desiring God has subsequently graciously corrected it.)
Another Excellent Sermon on Temptation (logged September 3, 2004)
No, I'm not always going to blog about what happens in church. But this series on temptation is so good! It would be a shame not to recommend it to others. The second in this series, by Jeff Purswell (who also serves as the Dean of the Sovereign Grace Pastors College), gave me writer's cramp. I haven't taken so many notes in such a long time. I felt like I was in the Pastors College that day, and I was loving it. His message was about the temptation of Jesus and how it is unique in Scripture. If you need hope, if you are weary of battling temptation, then I encourage you to listen to this message and the conclusion in the three-part series, which was also given by Josh. All great messages and all for free!
Fighting Temptation (logged August 15, 2004)
We started a series on temptation today at Covenant Life Church. Josh Harris gave the first sermon in this series, based on Joseph's temptation in Genesis 39. It was not only full of clear-eyed teaching on what we can do to overcome temptation, but also a gracious reminder that, just as with Joseph, the Lord is with us. No matter whether the temptation before us is sexual sin (such as Joseph faced with Potiphar's wife), or gluttony, anger, gossip, laziness, and so on--we don't have to give in. Josh's four points were:
1. No Excuses
2. Remember the Lord is with you
3. Call sin what it is
4. Go to extremes
To find out how to apply these points, you'll have to listen to the sermon! I highly recommend it. And for the next six months or so, you should be able to listen online for free at Covenant Life's website.
Finding the first error (logged August 5, 2004)
Yesterday I received my notice from Amazon that my book has shipped, and today I received notice of an error in its pages. My apologies to Elisabeth Elliot (Gren) and her wonderful husband, Lars, who is still alive--despite reports to the contrary emanating from the pages of Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Thanks to the eagle eye of several readers, I now can exhale. The first typo has been spotted! There's always one (at least) in every edition. What should have been said on page 100 was that Elisabeth Elliot has been married three times, not widowed three times. I trust if Mrs. Gren ever reads this book, she will be as gracious as always in extending understanding.
This awkward moment was somewhat relieved, however, when I got home and found a fat envelope in the mail. Three of my nieces had sent a colorful thank you note (with original artwork!) because the book was dedicated to them. That made my day!
On the book's release (logged August 3, 2004)
I can't believe it's August already. Of 2004! I'm beginning to sound like my father, who was always surprised whenever Labor Day came around again. Each year, he'd express concern about where the year had gone. As a child, I never understood what he was talking about--time crept by when I was in school and Labor Day was a stark reminder that the creep was going to start again. Now I think I not only understand, but I can sympathize. I once read that time doesn't really speed up when you get older, but your accumulation of memories about each annual date gets larger. At first, you have only a few memories of Labor Days gone by. Soon, it's a dozen memories. Then dozens more. Because you have so many memories, it seems like the event just happened.
But I digress ... nothing unusual there.
After spending a little more than nine months writing this book, I first got to hold my "baby" at the CBA Christian retailing convention in late June. When I spotted it, I was helping to set up the booth for my employer, Sovereign Grace Ministries. The convention floor was closed and only exhibitors were there to set up. The Crossway booth was already set and no one was around. So in this odd bubble of silence, I beheld my labor of love. It didn't cry, it didn't coo ... but it may be the closest I get to the feeling of labor and delivery!
During one of the days at CBA, I was scheduled to do a book-signing. I had no idea if anyone would even show up. At first, I was trying to master the art of making small talk while trying to spell my name correctly. No easy feat! Then I noticed the line kept getting longer. Where were these people coming from?! Soon I found out. "You have a great PR rep out there!" someone said with a big smile. "I only got in line because your pastor so highly recommended you," another volunteered.
My pastor, C.J. Mahaney, was working the aisles with a big grin and shooing people into the line. I think the folks at Crossway were a bit stunned. Never one to promote himself, C.J.'s antics probably didn't add up for them. But his enthusiastic championship is a blessing I experience on a regular basis. His wife, Carolyn, stood by me and giggled as she handed me the books to sign. My only regret? I didn't get to see the fun myself!
During CBA, I also had the privilege of conducting interviews with three different journalists--all single women themselves. (We say "had the privilege" a lot around Sovereign Grace circles, but it's intentional because it's true.) I hadn't considered in advance that I may have the opportunity to encourage other single women at CBA, but I was glad I got to do so!
Right after CBA, in July, I taught a four-week summer school class at Covenant Life Church. The course was to be based on my book, but Crossway had some technical problems with its printing so the book wasn't ready for release. However, Crossway did have a few promotional copies left from CBA and generously sent two boxes as a gift to the ladies in the class. It was an unexpected gift, but one much appreciated. Thanks, Crossway!